Currently feeling....

Timing is everything..

Never felt this way,

Seeing the red, green and gray.

Happy faces passing by,

Deep inside there's a cry.

Memories raging through,

Random bursts of blue.

Reminders of blessings,

Even the worn out dressings.

Clear days are ahead,

Long will be gone the dread.

Happiness comes from the inside,

Darkness will not abide.

The only one that matters,

My God,  bring a new chapter!

Poetry and Waiting

It has been brought to my attention, poetry may come natural for me. Oh and yes, it has been quite some time since I have been on here. I finished this poem in under 5 minutes.
Enjoy.

Waiting
Waiting for living and
holding your breath.
Waiting for victory and
guarding your self.
Waiting for success and
trying your best.
Waiting for adventure and
taking a step.
Waiting for compassion and
protecting your heart.
Waiting for choices and
making your decision.

Waiting is prison, bail yourself out.

Foolish pride?

I will be perfectly honest with myself, I have not done what I should have been doing for some time now. I am not very happy with myself and I have to do what God has called me to do. Time is not slowing down and it's time to take charge of the things that need to happen. Just as I said about 8 weeks ago, procrastination had really gotten the best of me and well it happened. But now is the time to step up and conquer it. I can't keep letting these feelings and excuses take over my life. I have became my own worst enemy. And I do not like it.

At this point, this blog is the most difficult one I am facing. Finding the right words to place on here has me at my wits end. Perfectionism, expectations, and not having the material things I 'want' to write, has my head hanging in my own prison. I could go on and on about the reasons why I am not writing but there's only 1 reason why I should be. Just maybe if I had more windows in my house, just maybe if I had that antique desk & chair I've been searching for, just maybe if I had my own little office, I'd be more productive and feel like I am getting somewhere. But I have to set my own selfish desires to the side. I can't do anything about that right now. I have to focus on God. I have to focus on my talents and 'actually' put it to use. Good use.

From reading articles like 'how to become inspired' to the '5 steps to becoming a better writer', etc, yeah I know I fit all the descriptions of a writer among other writers. We procrastinate. We're crazy. Most of us own a cat. We fuel on coffee. We have a love for vintage. And we look at things and recite something in our head how we could write about it. We have our own creative style. And I celebrate my differences, but the procrastination doesn't deserve the praise. Now what?!

I have more than enough shared my struggles. It's deep actually. We all have things we are not proud of. It was my time to open up. My time to share. My time to accept it. Now it is time to move on. 

Jesus, hold my hand and lead me.

A New Chapter

After a couple of weeks, I have accomplished some things on my to do list, but it always seems to grow longer after 2 or more things are marked off. I won't complain, although I am extremely grateful that my husband has finally nipped the sickness in the bud. After about 8-9 days, I am glad my house is germ free! And it is pretty clean to say the least.

Since 2015 has arrived I feel like this is the year for many things that I have been praying for to come to pass. The year for blessings, breakthroughs and victories! God has truly been speaking to me this last week and because of Him, I have things that need to be done. Honestly, the subject God had given me to study about was something I had to research and sure enough I felt like I was finally getting somewhere. Personally, taking steps is such an accomplishment. But since the new year has started, as bad as I hate to admit it, procrastination had really gotten the best of me. I have not touched my notebook and I have felt horrible, as if I have failed, although deep down I know I haven't. I know God is just waiting on me to make the next move so HE can use me. And it is time for that.

So this week, my notebook will take on a new story, that new interesting chapter to add. After 10 days into this year, my thought patterns will take on a new path, after all. It hasn't been easy for me considering it being my first book that I have been writing on. I am excited and anxious where this is going to take me, but I have to keep reminding myself of HIS word and HIS promise. God has shown me where to take my writing. And earlier today after researching and looking up scripture in the Bible for my next chapter, there is no doubt that the story I will share will touch someone's heart and inspire them. When someone reads the experiences (although I CANNOT share on here) I share in my first book, they will know they're not alone throughout the struggles and trials they may endure in a season of their life. Because God is there - always.